light my way

Tuesday, May 31, 2011 ;

6:23 PM

Partner just whatsapp me to tell me some nonsense she encountered from X today.

Seriously. Are you kidding me?

All these while, we have been trying our best to help you and accommodate. Because you have a sickly kid, and your kid has a sickly kid. And when they are less sickly, we acknowledge your basic maternal need for being with them, despite less than reasonable request. We tried our hardest. And of all people, you turned your back on her by those baseless threats. Seriously. Do you know this equate to insubordination? We do not have to do what we have done trying to help you but we did.

So, seriously, are you fricking kidding me? This is not a place where you can rub off your tai tai tantrums on others. We are not obliged to play along with you.

I don't even have to be present to feel cheesed off. Gee. You need to learn to respect her. I won't be there forever.

You need to get some things right. If you asked her to wait and see, I am pretty mighty sure you have something to do with the outcome that is coming her way. And if it isn't true, then you have to make sure you have the capacity to bear the investigation and consequences.

Each time you come to us with your requests, we bend our backs. We go the extra mile for you by trying to get you the leave you wish for, but didn't want to work for simply because you weren't popular enough to ask your colleagues yourself. So, if we were unfair, may I know who benefitted most from this? May I know who was the one who helped you when you were desperately trying to fly to a foreign land to meet up with your family? Who gave you 2 weeks leave to allow you to do so? Leave don't fall from the sky. To allow you the opportunity to be on that plane, do you know we actually have to plead with others and win their sympathy for you on YOUR behalf? Not once, not twice but countless of times. So who benefitted most? Learn to ask others yourself. It all boils down to sincerely. And we won't be there forever. Who better to depend on but yourself? If you want something, work for it! Don't rely on others to 'work their magic'! If others don't wish to help you, then reflect on yourself as a person, a co-worker, as a friend, and ask yourself, 'why won't they help me?' I am pretty sure there's a correlation somewhere.

And, blackmailing is such a stupid thing to play, especially against your supervisors, regardless of whether you like them a not. And as what had learnt from a poster I saw outside the door today - If you stand straight, you do not have to fear a crooked shadow.

Seriously cannot believe my ears.

=_=

light my way ♥

;

4:33 PM

WOO HOO!

I passed my CPIP (Clinical Practice Improvement Programme) project!!! For those who do not know, this is something that allow participants to aim at spurring clinical leadership and engagement in the quality improvement agenda. Unfortunately, my head Dr made me go through a 3-4 day course on this and as part of the course, we had to complete a project and 'pass' it at the end of it in order to pass the course.

The project ran for 6 months and the final review to the panel of facilitators was today. And we (my NM and myself embarked on this together because we were both arrowed to go for the course) made it through! I am glad we achieved success among the dua lo kuns and all the very experienced Sisters and other clinicians!

WOOOO HOOO!!!

Finally, the splinter out of my backside is removed! This project has always been sitting at the back of my mind as it is something that we recognise as being a problem, and at the same time, will be something that will never be totally removed.

And finally, we no longer have to hurry for time to 'hand it up'.

Shall sayang my cert, this is indeed one of the most challenging undertaking in all my projects. As this is clinically driven, it was exceptionally challenging for me. As I come from an operationally-driven background, I am more used to LEAN and VSM as they focus more on system thinking. CPIP, as the name suggest, is all about clinical improvement so it wasn't really my thing. Plus, it was something that I was never confident in producing the best result simply because we have a lot of constraints and it was impossible to achieve 100%. So, I am mighty glad we didnt get skinned alive during the final review, like we did in our mid point review. Tsk tsk.

The next 2 weeks will be hectic. My schedule is pretty much maxed out. And then the long await almost-2-weeks break will follow. Thereafter, lots of challenges will present themselves. I just hope that this will be a great positive learning experience and I will be able to persevere and do well.

May God see me through until the end of next year. Plenty of challenges ahead.

I just need to keep in mind that this will be of a great value to my pursue in the healthcare system.

I must ganbatte!

light my way ♥

Monday, May 30, 2011 ;

9:41 PM

Less than 3 more weeks to go and we will be on our way to Perth.

WOO HOO!

Gonna be an extremely busy 2.5 weeks. Schedule is packed packed packed! Plenty of meetings, plenty of courses, plenty of WORK to do. :(

Reminder to myself:
Manicure
Hair appt

light my way ♥

Wednesday, May 25, 2011 ;

9:27 PM

Dr Lim asked me on Monday whether he can reject my secondment.

And asked my boss again yesterday if he should accept or reject it.

Somehow, it made me very happy.

Happy that Dr Lim would mull over my departure as well as care about my progression.

Happy that I was able to make an impact in his team to have second thoughts.

Happy that for a man of so few words and a very easy going nature, he would actually want to keep me around.

Really really happy to know I mean something to Dr Lim.

So very touched.

But whatever his decision is, it will definitely make me feel sad. Sad because it might be a rare opportunity lost but I get to keep what's precious to me. Sad because I might trade that precious place for the rare opportunity.

Home to me for the past 2 and 3/4 years.

I know every nook and cranny there, better than my own home.

The staff.

The Sisters.

The Heads.

I don't think I will ever find another team who will sayang me as much as them.

And above all, Dr Lim, who has always been so kind and patient towards me. The man with the heart. The man I respect most because he truly cares for the well being of people.

:(

What a high opportunity cost.

:(

I hope I am making the right decision.

I love my job, because I love the people in it. It is that simple. I wonder if I can find the same love elsewhere.

light my way ♥

Monday, May 23, 2011 ;

8:22 PM

This is fricking awesome! I passed my FSM and to my pleasant surprise, I passed with As for both my exam papers and on top of that, I got a B for my project! Best result that I can ever dream of since A for a project is not possible according to the trainer. Damn bloody happy about it cause I had hoped for B B C!

Woot, no retakes! No need to study liao! :D

Last week, my AD also offered me a very rare opportunity. To be seconded full time to support the JCI accreditation. For non-healthcare friends, this is like ISO for healthcare, and it's a frigging huge thing in healthcare. It is basically the highest international standards that any healthcare organisation can achieve. it is that huge! I mulled over this for about 4 days before I decided (on the morning I was suppose to let my AD know my answer nonetheless)

On one hand, I am very attached to my clinic. It is afterall where I started, and where I found directions in my career. And the resolution that perhaps Healthcare Ops is the path I wish to pursue. My staff and my CMM team has been nothing but family to me. In fact, I say it with pride that we are perhaps one of the very few clinics where the Sisters and heads would actually protect the OEs like we were their own flesh and blood. I am very very lucky to be under their care. I don't think I would be able to achieve what I did if not for their support, guidance and patience.

On the other hand, this is a rare opportunity and accreditation takes place only after 2-3 years if your organisation chooses to be accredited. It is a long and tedious process and I when I joined, our organisation got it's first accreditation. And this year, they introduced the first primary care standards which we will be going for next Aug.And to be able to be in the project team that helps steers your entire organisation to be successful in this accreditation is a great privilege and a great learning experience!

However, it also means that my RO will be my COO. So it's either I do or die. Haha. Oh well. To make matters worse, the manager selected to be on the team is going on ML. Which means I am the defacto project manager which she's away. Which is scary, because I don't know if I act decently. :(

Dr Lim said he was sad and asked if he could reject it when I told him that my AD will be talking to him about my secondment. Either way, I would be sad. If he does not approve the transfer. I will be sad to lose this opp. If he agrees, I will be sad to leave. But nonetheless, I was very happy to know that he still wants me around :)

Anyway wish me success. Hopefully I have the wisdom and the strength to pull through everything.

9 months to the wedding.

I cannot afford to have pimples.

Ha.

P/s: MY BOYFRIEND IS FRICKING AWESOME AND PATIENT. HE LOVES ME!

light my way ♥

Tuesday, May 17, 2011 ;

9:40 PM

Happy Vesak Day!

And more importantly!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST MOTHER! :)

Nothing in life's achievements beat a happy family, and a loving partner.

I have been incredibly blessed to have both!

Smelly has really been very supportive and gave great advice regarding a rather important decision professionally. Now I just need a stamp of approval to set my mind at peace. Hopefully things will turn out for the best.

Come Friday, a decision has to be made.

light my way ♥

Monday, May 09, 2011 ;

2:51 PM

Sick at home. :( Wheezing, body feeling broken all over. Weak. Sedated.

Been a while since I felt this weak. Fever spiked to 40.3 over the weekend. But thanks to Smelly, I didn't have to check into A&E. Just very thankful for having him there with me. Things like these make me feel like I can depend on him, for better or worse, for the rest of my life.

I feel very very blessed to have him by my side indeed.

Still cannot believe I can ever say this, but 9 more months to our wedding and I am looking forward to it. To be married to the love of my life! :)

Anyway, the reason why I am blogging while I am ill is because I am very excited as well. Ron (our photographer) was one of the photog crew that documented Fan Fan and Hei Ren's wedding!! Was quite a pleasant surprise! So glad we engaged Ron, he is really good at what he does and we hope he can capture all our fond memories during our trip to Perth! Was anticipating shots of their wedding since I love watching Kang Xi so I am really really psych and happy for Ron!

Ok, can't go on anymore, trembling as I type this. I hate feeling sick. And I wish I can tell my boss if it were mild, I would rather be back at work. Coz there is plenty of work waiting for me to clear. Sigh. He is really lacking in the PR department. Sigh. How demoralising.

light my way ♥

Tuesday, May 03, 2011 ;

8:58 PM

One and a half more months to Perth!

Excited!

First appt with MBR this Friday to pick out our outdoor gown and his tux for us to bring over.

Hope it turns out well!

:)

Poor Smelly is sick at home, get well soon baby!

light my way ♥