Sunday, September 14, 2008 ;
6:34 PM
2.5 more months before Baby comes home for good......
*prays time goes by quickly*
I miss you very muchie Baby..
light my way ♥
Tuesday, September 02, 2008 ;
7:01 PM
My boyfriend
This morning I was catching up with a friend. When asked if I was attached, and that my partner must be tall and handsome,
To my surprise, I replied the wisest thing I had ever said in my life:
"He is neither tall nor what you would call a handsome devil. But he charms me every single day of our relationship with who he is and most importantly, he has a heart of gold. And I am proud to be seen with him, and I hope that he is proud to be seen with me too."
Looking back at what I had said, I feel neither surprise or wise. Simply because this is what I am feeling all these years.
Baby throw "tantrums" sometimes and "insist" that I wish he were taller or more handsome.
But honestly I wish for neither.
A taller boyfriend would only mean he can reach a higher bookshelf. Or see a little further beyond a crowd. But what good would it be if he cannot be my hand or my eyes?
A cuter boyfriend is a temporary solution to vanity. But what good would it be if he has roving eyes to match his wider "audience"?
A taller and cuter boyfriend is somewhat a momentarily lust. What good would it be if he grows old and grey and I cannot see anything good in him beyond his pretty face and long limbs?
To me, Baby is tall because his mind and heart reaches places I long to reach. He tells me the things he sees and feels beyond what I can know.
To me Baby is cute and handsome because his kindness makes me see the good in him and make him shine in my world.
To me Baby is better than any handsome 180cm tall guys in the world because he completes my life the way he is. He brings insight into my world and he is my eyes, my hands, my legs and my ears.
Baby is wonderful because he is the first person I have met that educate me and help me to learn every single day. Not about the ugliness of mankind, but the kindness of it. Not about learning to love, but loving to learn. About everything he shares, everything he does. About how to wade through life dealing with difficult associations, about tact in handling people to get things done, about places I have heard but never seen, about experiences I didn't go through. There is just so much I got out of him throughout my friendship with him.
I have never grown so positively in my life.
I am just no good without him.
I am his equal and he sees me as that. I am not his pet, nor his toy. I am his equal. When he needs help, he trusts me with his work. He trusts my ability to help him.
He tells me about what he learns in jap class without downplaying anything. He tells me as it is, and patiently explains the words and phrases when I ask him what they mean. He speaks to me in a mixture of english and japanese and knowingly knows that I understand them. He has faith in my intelligence. He teaches me new phrases and vocabulary. He has faith in my learning abilities.
We are a dynamic duo. We think of the craziest things together. We joke about ridiculous things, and we plan ridiculous things and laugh about it. We work our brains off each other and play music games (he plays a song and I tell him the title and the artiste name). We make fun of each other with annoying fwaaaaahhhhh and whatsnot when we give a correct answer. We snort and tell each other gross things without a care or being mindful. We take pride in living together as 2 unique individuals.
And most of all, Baby gives me 3 thumbs up when I'm being a really good girl. My special special privilege.
If God gives me a chance to change/improve something about Baby, I would tell Him, "Make Leon say this way forever and ever"
I have loving parents.
I have great great girlfriends and guy friends.
I have my own version of a perfect boyfriend.
My boyfriend's parents treat me like their own.
I have interests which I thoroughly enjoy (gaming wahahha) and is allowed to enjoy (no nagging boyfriends because we have similar interests!)
And now,
All I need is something that I have been waiting for in a long long time.
So please please... dear God, please help me get it.....
light my way ♥
